If you want to know what I've been reading, both in book form and around the web, head to my writing blog. Otherwise, stick around here and talk to me about what's on my mind these days:
I turn 30 in almost exactly a month, and it seems like a big event looming ahead of me. I know many of you, my friends/readers, have passed that milestone, and it may seem silly to be thinking about it so much, but there it is. I know I shouldn't, but I still feel like I should have more figured out by now, and I don't know that I do. I mean that almost more on a kind of cosmic level than a personal-- I feel good about my marriage, my family, etc, but the world and my place in it, at 30? I don't know. I certainly feel one big shift-- I no longer only think a year ahead, like kids or even younger adults can, but now think 5 years, 10 years, 15 years ahead (and worry too much about it, but who's surprised at that?). I think partly I've been thinking about the same kinds of issues mentioned this post (and clearly with this many comments, I'm not the only one out there!) It seems like tempting fate to try and think about how I want my life to be in the future when it has taken so many unexpected turns already, but without planning, how do we aim our lives? How do we live with any purpose at all?
So talk to me about turning 30, or 40, or 50, about what it means or doesn't mean, about how to mark these kinds of milestones, about rituals you have or have heard about when it comes to thinking about your life, your future, and your future life. We all talk and blog about kids' birthdays and their parties and presents: what about ours?
7/14/2008
7/13/2008
busy season
The kitchen project is finally lurching towards completion! It will most likely be finished late tomorrow night, when the new ceiling fan is installed, but there's still a cabinet purchase I want to make this month. This is truly the project that never ends! Also, I am still wrapping up London loose ends, so I'm dealing with the project that never ends as well as the never-ending trip. Sigh.
My sister moves this weekend, which has also been taking up a lot of my time between packing and moving. She and I have been commiserating over the lack of free time we've had this summer! I'm thrilled with all the progress we've made in our houses and lives, but I get rather jealous when I read and hear about friends who are taking beach trips or spending long afternoons at the pool. My little brother is going on a road trip next week to spend a week in the Florida Keys with his girlfriend, for only one example. I still have a fair amount of schoolwork looming ahead that I need to get started on, and we have a few beach days planned later this month, but it still seems so far away, and I wish we were staying for much longer.
I wish I could take a little retreat for myself, but unfortunately, that does not seem to be in the cards this summer.
My sister moves this weekend, which has also been taking up a lot of my time between packing and moving. She and I have been commiserating over the lack of free time we've had this summer! I'm thrilled with all the progress we've made in our houses and lives, but I get rather jealous when I read and hear about friends who are taking beach trips or spending long afternoons at the pool. My little brother is going on a road trip next week to spend a week in the Florida Keys with his girlfriend, for only one example. I still have a fair amount of schoolwork looming ahead that I need to get started on, and we have a few beach days planned later this month, but it still seems so far away, and I wish we were staying for much longer.
I wish I could take a little retreat for myself, but unfortunately, that does not seem to be in the cards this summer.
7/07/2008
July?
Sorry for the unannounced mini-hiatus there. Our home laptop and my school laptop decided to go haywire in the same short amount of time, so we had limited computer access for a few days there.
In the interim: I started two poems and ruthlessly revised a third, went to two backyard cookouts, one with a lovely pool and both with lovely company, saw the work on our kitchen progress, helped my sister paint rooms in her new house. Today I went to my father's for my grandmother's birthday, and tomorrow my sister's coming over to help me install a new kitchen floor (the tiles look both creamier and peachier in real life). The kitchen still has a fair amount of priming and painting to be done, but by the end of July I should have a much more attractive kitchen than I do now. I'm so thrilled, since I've been dreaming about this renovation since we moved in!
Recently we spent some time with friends who have a six-month-old baby boy, who is adorable and delicious like all babies are. I surprised myself at how much I enjoyed holding and snuggling him, and later I felt a kind of bittersweet sadness at how many of my girls' first six months or so is a total haze to me. I was in the midst of a very typical post-baby depression, also very common for mothers of twins, and treating my thyroid imbalance cleared it up by their first birthday, but I still wish that year could have gone differently.
Anyway, my big six-year-old girls have been enjoying their summer, and their behavior has smoothed out since I got back, but we are still mulling over some major changes in how we organize and operate our little family. So any thoughts you have on family meetings, allowances, and chores are more than welcome as we try to navigate those waters.
In the interim: I started two poems and ruthlessly revised a third, went to two backyard cookouts, one with a lovely pool and both with lovely company, saw the work on our kitchen progress, helped my sister paint rooms in her new house. Today I went to my father's for my grandmother's birthday, and tomorrow my sister's coming over to help me install a new kitchen floor (the tiles look both creamier and peachier in real life). The kitchen still has a fair amount of priming and painting to be done, but by the end of July I should have a much more attractive kitchen than I do now. I'm so thrilled, since I've been dreaming about this renovation since we moved in!
Recently we spent some time with friends who have a six-month-old baby boy, who is adorable and delicious like all babies are. I surprised myself at how much I enjoyed holding and snuggling him, and later I felt a kind of bittersweet sadness at how many of my girls' first six months or so is a total haze to me. I was in the midst of a very typical post-baby depression, also very common for mothers of twins, and treating my thyroid imbalance cleared it up by their first birthday, but I still wish that year could have gone differently.
Anyway, my big six-year-old girls have been enjoying their summer, and their behavior has smoothed out since I got back, but we are still mulling over some major changes in how we organize and operate our little family. So any thoughts you have on family meetings, allowances, and chores are more than welcome as we try to navigate those waters.
6/30/2008
bulletins
Today, my sister bought her first house! She has been looking for months and finally found a really lovely little house on a nice tree-lined street in a very stable and tight-knit neighborhood. The best part is that as a first-time homebuyer who didn't have to sell first, she definitely got a great deal on her house and is thrilled to have it.
Tomorrow, I have jury duty. I am feeling lukewarm about it, especially since we found out this weekend that after a few different shuffles and bungles, our break-in case was dismissed while I was in London. We are hoping to get our stuff back this week and put this whole nasty mess behind us, but that will be more difficult to do if I end up on a jury somehow. This is my first time being called at all, so I am bringing some books and hoping for the best.
In lighter news, my girls got their first public library cards today! I brought home some new novels, an anthology of short stories, a new volume of poetry-- and this book on positive discipline. Unfortunately, my girls' readjustment to me being back from London has not been full of rainbows and sunshine, and they are also showing some new six-year-old tricks I'm not too fond of-- hence the need to replenish my discipline toolbox.
Tomorrow, I have jury duty. I am feeling lukewarm about it, especially since we found out this weekend that after a few different shuffles and bungles, our break-in case was dismissed while I was in London. We are hoping to get our stuff back this week and put this whole nasty mess behind us, but that will be more difficult to do if I end up on a jury somehow. This is my first time being called at all, so I am bringing some books and hoping for the best.
In lighter news, my girls got their first public library cards today! I brought home some new novels, an anthology of short stories, a new volume of poetry-- and this book on positive discipline. Unfortunately, my girls' readjustment to me being back from London has not been full of rainbows and sunshine, and they are also showing some new six-year-old tricks I'm not too fond of-- hence the need to replenish my discipline toolbox.
6/26/2008
London Bridge
I woke up this morning at 4:30 am and instantly felt disoriented by the darkness in my bedroom. Why is it still dark? Why is my bed so much more comfortable than it has been for eleven days? Why isn't my sister knocking on the door to hustle me to breakfast and another fun-filled, intense day of chaperoning?
So yeah, feeling a little jet-lagged, but so happy to be home! For those of you who travel regularly for work, I don't know how you do it. I missed my family intensely and do not want to look at our next phone bill, since I had international cell service during out trip and used it much more than I had planned to.
Altogether, the trip was exhausting, challenging, wonderful and miserable. I had a disconcerting preview of what it will be like to parent teenagers (yikes!), was surprised at how familiar London felt to me even though I hadn't been there in a decade, and realized just how much older and creakier my body is these days! I saw many of the sights I was determined to see, like Hyde Park (breathtaking), the British Library (Auden drafts! First Folio! Beatles lyrics! Austen letters!), and the Tate Modern, which was jaw-dropping and inspiring. The students had a wonderful time, I'm pretty sure, and my sister and I resolutely supported each other through our homesickness and codger-like exasperation. The students took workshops at the Globe theater, and while they learned a lot as actors, I feel I learned a lot also about teaching Shakespeare, which was a nice bonus.
Now I feel like my own summer is truly about to begin. I had hoped that our kitchen work would be done when I got back, but as always with contractors, the job seems to have ballooned, in terms of time and money. So the dining table is still in the living room, there's a thin layer of dust over everything, and plastic still taped up in the doorway. Sigh. But soon, I hope, it will be finished, and then we'll have a bit of touch-up painting to do around the new ceiling. Also, seeing how much bigger and brighter the room seems makes me really wish for a new kitchen floor as well.... perhaps another DIY project to add to my burgeoning list?
So yeah, feeling a little jet-lagged, but so happy to be home! For those of you who travel regularly for work, I don't know how you do it. I missed my family intensely and do not want to look at our next phone bill, since I had international cell service during out trip and used it much more than I had planned to.
Altogether, the trip was exhausting, challenging, wonderful and miserable. I had a disconcerting preview of what it will be like to parent teenagers (yikes!), was surprised at how familiar London felt to me even though I hadn't been there in a decade, and realized just how much older and creakier my body is these days! I saw many of the sights I was determined to see, like Hyde Park (breathtaking), the British Library (Auden drafts! First Folio! Beatles lyrics! Austen letters!), and the Tate Modern, which was jaw-dropping and inspiring. The students had a wonderful time, I'm pretty sure, and my sister and I resolutely supported each other through our homesickness and codger-like exasperation. The students took workshops at the Globe theater, and while they learned a lot as actors, I feel I learned a lot also about teaching Shakespeare, which was a nice bonus.
Now I feel like my own summer is truly about to begin. I had hoped that our kitchen work would be done when I got back, but as always with contractors, the job seems to have ballooned, in terms of time and money. So the dining table is still in the living room, there's a thin layer of dust over everything, and plastic still taped up in the doorway. Sigh. But soon, I hope, it will be finished, and then we'll have a bit of touch-up painting to do around the new ceiling. Also, seeing how much bigger and brighter the room seems makes me really wish for a new kitchen floor as well.... perhaps another DIY project to add to my burgeoning list?
6/13/2008
countdown
In twelve hours, I'll be on a plane to London! Expect no posts from me till late June, and hope everyone stays healthy and happy while I'm gone!
6/09/2008
thinking place
I feel like I have a few different blog posts swirling around in my head these days, but not enough time or focus to get them down with London looming ahead of me. I've been commenting at Half changed World on a post of hers about incentives, which resonated with me because we've been thinking a lot about allowances around here. The difficult part is that for us, thinky feminist liberal types that we are, thinking about allowances means also thinking about the economics and gendered dynamics of housework, the social workings of capitalism, the economics of incentives and the cooperative nature of social contracts! And of course, after that 1930s housewife quiz in my previous post, that's all getting thrown into the mix as well.
Plus I've been listening to a lot of new music lately, including the new nine inch nails album which I downloaded for free after reading a recent NYT piece on Trent Reznor and all the different musical and distributive experiments he's been making these days. I haven't listened to NIN in years but this album, The Slip, is actually very good, and available as a free, high-quality download straight from the man himself.
I've also been thinking a lot about creativity lately. I discovered an author recently that I think I'm becoming a fan of-- of course, when I say "discovered," I just mean that I read some of his work for the first time, not that I had never heard of him before! And then today I read this great interview about creativity, which provided much food for thought. I've been experiencing such a rush of creativity as a poet after taking my workshop, and it's just thrilling. But it's also puzzling, how my urges shift from nonfiction to poetry, from baking to paint colors and then to fabric and thread. Plus, I'd love to do more creative exercises, projects and challenges with my students, because they remind me very much of the Supergrads on the cover of the WaPo magazine, but adding on a layer or two of pressure, stress and insecurity. I want them to experience more of the joy that creativity can bring, I guess.
See? Apparently I had just enough time and focus to write this longish hodgepodge of a post, but nothing more focused or truly analytical. Good thing I'm a blogger, I guess (wink, wink).
Plus I've been listening to a lot of new music lately, including the new nine inch nails album which I downloaded for free after reading a recent NYT piece on Trent Reznor and all the different musical and distributive experiments he's been making these days. I haven't listened to NIN in years but this album, The Slip, is actually very good, and available as a free, high-quality download straight from the man himself.
I've also been thinking a lot about creativity lately. I discovered an author recently that I think I'm becoming a fan of-- of course, when I say "discovered," I just mean that I read some of his work for the first time, not that I had never heard of him before! And then today I read this great interview about creativity, which provided much food for thought. I've been experiencing such a rush of creativity as a poet after taking my workshop, and it's just thrilling. But it's also puzzling, how my urges shift from nonfiction to poetry, from baking to paint colors and then to fabric and thread. Plus, I'd love to do more creative exercises, projects and challenges with my students, because they remind me very much of the Supergrads on the cover of the WaPo magazine, but adding on a layer or two of pressure, stress and insecurity. I want them to experience more of the joy that creativity can bring, I guess.
See? Apparently I had just enough time and focus to write this longish hodgepodge of a post, but nothing more focused or truly analytical. Good thing I'm a blogger, I guess (wink, wink).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
